Peace & Giving

I’m looking forward to the challenge




In February 2005, I took a solo trip to Jamaica……I was in transition, moving from working as a travel nurse to a staff nurse. I finished my travel/agency nursing assignments in early January and took some time off to make sense out of what was I doing. I moved to Chicago on a travel nurse assignment, I really didn’t think about how long I would or would not be staying here, but at this point I wanted to stay put, it just felt like the time was to stay put in this city. A dear friend of mine was getting married in Florida so I planned my vacation around that, I left the wedding, next stop Jamaica!



The week in Jamaica was life changing on a level of me gaining self strength, the strength to move onto the next phase life what ever that was supposed to mean. I was at a crossroad and knew that nursing, as I was practicing was not something I wanted to continue to do. By this time my yoga practice was great I was seeing a few different teachers, practicing several styles. I was feeling great, and really in a good place of finding my true self , I decided to go lay on a beach and really “get in myself“. My family had long ago, gotten over being surprised by anything I was going to do, so they were not surprised, but concerned for my safety in regards to me traveling alone…….I never let that bother me it was actually exciting to experience my true and honest desire to go alone. Five years before that my thoughts on traveling alone for vacation, would have been halted by rambling thoughts such as, “what will people think” “I will look lonely & desperate” “I’m scared”. My yoga practice and deeper understanding of self and feeling good in my own company, allowed me to do something my soul wanted to do, instead of listening to my mind allowing it to fill my soul with fear.



I planned that vacation with intention, I wanted to face myself in a non singles atmosphere, where all the influences I didn’t need would not be a reach away. I was looking to do some soul searching……I selected  an all exclusive resorts for COUPLES! I watched a online video and a thorough review search , the resort even sent me a short video to watch. I remember filling out the customs form on the airplane, I have filled out many of these cards, but I was usually with a friend or a love, this time I was all alone, and I knew there was no turning back…..It felt good. I spent everyday on the beach with  my journal, a book and a pen…..I was letting go, I found it difficult to journal consistently, it was easier for me to get lost in thought staring out at the water……breathing and letting go, sometimes tears filled my eyes and other times I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. I let go of a lot of things that I could not write about, but I was able to say them out loud as I lay in Jamaica where no one knew me.



I arrived back to Chicago……and five years later my life is significantly different …..I like that! I never planned anything I just wanted to follow what my mind, body and soul were in unison with, if one was off then that path was not the right path. I follow that to this day. Yoga has definitely shown me how to connect with my entire self and to live in a way where there is harmony within.



The events of this week have lead me to my next personal challenge. I became angry and little attached to my texting while driving experience….As I headed out on Monday eve to teach my last class, I encountered two drivers, both using cell phones while driving, one texting and the other talking while looking for directions swerving in both lanes almost causing significant accidents with me. I let the incident fester inside after venting I proceeded to search the internet for any and all accidents involving cell phone usage while driving, watching one disturbing video after another. Needless to say I didn’t sleep that night, instead I dreamed tossed and turned and I got up Tuesday morning still carrying that Monday eve energy, I could feel it even before I stepped out of bed.



I’m in the middle of preparing two power points for upcoming presentations, so I pulled my self together, and moved into my personal practice, then headed out to my mobile office of choice. Sitting there having my tea, my thoughts drifted back the events Monday eve, I searched for more videos, instead of working on my power point. I finally sat back in my the comfy coffee house chair and meditated, I need to let go of this and move on.

I gently remind myself that I’m alive and I’m sitting here dwelling on the negative, how about the fact I’m here!



I was recently given the book 29 Gifts from a beautiful new soul that has come into my life. We met through a mutual nursing colleague……She was calling to interview me for a upcoming article in the nursing magazine she writes for, immediately we fell into conversation like friends….I met her face to face the night of the Black Nurses celebration and she gave me this book as a gift. I decided it would be my March book read.



The second week in March I was still reading my February book selection, I was having a hard time getting through it. I finished the book on March 12. Monday I put 29 Gifts in my bag, I always carry some type of reading material or journal with me, as I put the book in the bag I said to myself "you will finish this book by the end of March".  I'm determined not  slack on my reading, allowing it to become a habit. Tuesday March 16th, as I sat back in this big comfy chair, I reached in my bag and pulled out the book, turned off my laptop and began to read. Tears filled my eyes as I read the prologue, I began feeling inspired as I continued to read each page. I slept well Tuesday night…..Wednesday’s are very busy for me, but I did a good personal practice and found time in my day to read a few pages from the book. Thursday & Friday same thing any time I had a moment, I would read a few more pages, each time feeling more and more inspired by the thought of authentic and mindfully committing to give with no attachment or expectations.





I find the gift of giving the exciting part, I'm ready for the commitment of journaling about it daily and not becoming attached to the process. The month of giving challenge includes journaling about the gift each day, which I love, but my commitment to writing every day is going to be the challenge. If you miss a day of giving a gift and journaling , you must start over at day one!!! I’m not big on DO OVERS! And that may be part ego, but I’ve always approach challenges with the intention of following the rules and completing things I begin…….This particular challenge leaves no room to procrastinate, I must trust in my mind, body and soul to be in harmony, as I give gifts from the entire self and not from a task oriented “just to get it done” place of disharmony. I want these gifts to come naturally, straight from the heart.



I finished reading the book this afternoon March 20th , Spring Equinox, and its snowing and 36 degrees in Chicago…..!?Ironic?!

I will began my 29 Gifts April 1, I’ve decided to let my daily personal yoga practice lead me to my gift for the day. I will begin with a affirmation guiding me into my meditation and asana practice, balancing the mind, body and soul so I can give from a place of peace and balance



The evening I received 29 Gifts, another friend gifted me with a BEAUTIFUL journal, I’m a firm believer in things that you are in need of appear when you have no attachment or expectations. I have a current journal, but I feel as thought this was gifted to me for this particular purpose and I will honor that. I also have chosen not to share all my actual gifts on my blog writings, I will blog about this experience……but I want my gifts to remain private to me as I give them and reflect back and journal.



I invite you to read my blog on this experience and I recommend the book

29 Gifts by ~Camie Walker~





Thanks Jennifer & Tami for the beautiful gifts!



Peace & Giving